my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize