We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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