pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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