I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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