Dignity is for republicans.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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