I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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