My nipple is on Facebook.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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