went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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