He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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