No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize