I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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