I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize