You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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