Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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