Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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