So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize