my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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