mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize