Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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