Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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