I'm going to jail i love you
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I forget how to act sober
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