i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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