Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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