he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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