Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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