so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize