You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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