five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize