Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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