i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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