Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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