it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I believe in your delicious
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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