You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize