I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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