The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize