does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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