I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize