My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
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