i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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