I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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