Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize