So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize