I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize