i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize