i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The beer is more important than you right now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
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yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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