you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize