just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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