I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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it glows. i had to have it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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