Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How naked do you want me to be?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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