yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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